Signs of Domestic Disintegration

These days we see how the family is disintegrating and homes are breaking all over the world. What are the reasons or rather what are the signs of domestic disintegration?

We have typical example from the Bible. Read 1Samuel chs 1-4.

Meet the Family: Here's a family of a presiet called Eli and his two sons who were in line with him to serve in the temple. Read about Eli's life: Professional , Personal & Physical. Observe the activity in the temple.See how his sons are committing sins in the temple and making the people to abhor the worship of the Lord. 2:12, 17, 22.

Eli hears what people say and also the warnings from God rearding disciplining his sons.(2: 23,27, 30-34; 3:11-12, 15-18.

Surprisingly, we see how Eli admonishes his sons so lightly against all their sins and the warnings he recieved from people as well as from God. He did not try to restrain them nor warn them strictly. He did not even plead with God on their behalf to save them! (2:23-24, 29, 3: 13,18b).

Evaluation: From the foregoing account of the family, we come to see 4 corrosive agents that helped erode Eli's family.

1. Preoccupation with his profession to the exclusion of his family's needs: It appears, Eli gave so much of himself to his profession that there was nothing left to care for his family. They were never there in the focus in the first place.He never spent enough time to discipline nor minister to his own sons. How, being born and brought up at Shiloh, where the very presence of the Lord was, and not know the Lord?! Because the father was never at home.

This is the condition and situation in many families these days. The father is never at home, nor does he look into the personal lives, needs of his children.When he finally wakes up, it is too late; for the children have already grown up to live their own lives.Parents have to give top priority and importance to the family life in relation to their careers.

2. Refusal to face the seriousness of his sons' lifestyle: When all were complaining about his sons' bad lifestyle, Eli, their father did not take it so seriously as to warn them and restrain them.He refused to believe the facts of the report. Sons, being priests themselves, became examples to be avoided rather than emulated. For the Scripture admonishes parents: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. " Proverbs 19:18.

Parents are commanded as well as authorized to chasten and discipline their children while they are very young and still under their control. Hebrews 12:7-11. The fruit of this exercise is the peaceable fruit of righteousness. The children become a blessing to one and all.

3. Failure to respond correctly to the warnings of others: God, sometimes, uses others to warn us and to protect us from the coming dangers or His judgements. People gave correct information about his sons' behavior to eli. But he never responded correctly to what he heard, except to faintly tell his sons. If we are receptive and sensitive to hearing from others as from the Lord, we will be saved. The Scripture says, in Proverbs 11:14, " Where no counsel is the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety." We have to be grateful to God when we have many around us who care to warn us and admonish us so that we keep to the ways of God.

4. Condoning the wrong, thereby becoming a part of the problem: Eli did not straightway condemn strongly the actions of his sons and hence God says, "honourest thy sons above Me" (1Sam.2:29). When we condone the wrong,we become one with the perpetraters of the sin. That's what we read in Lamentations 5:7, " Our fathers have sinned, and are not; and we have borne their iniquities." As far as possible, we need to dissociate ourselves from other people's sins so that we don't become partners with them. Romans 1:32.

Insights: These thoughts prompt us to think deeply about what is a "good family"? As per society's standard, what is a good family outwardly, may not be so. The life inside the family is important too. Professional reputation may not guarantee parental reputation. Those who do well in their professions may not be so at their homes in their parental roles. Success at work does not necessarily guarantee success at home.

We often mistakenly think, a successful busniessman may have a happy home. But it may not to be true. Because many are not willing to put as much effort in making their homes as they do in their offices. It is necessary, however, to take as many pais in your parental responsibilities as you do in your professional duties.

Some questions for reflection: Hophni and Phinehas lived separate lives with their father under the same roof!

1. When was the last time you really talked alone, uninterrupted with one of your children?

2. In what ways have you shared yourself with a family member rather than just sharing an activity?

3. In what ways have you developed closeness with your children? Have you spent as much time & energy with them as with your friends?

4. What would you share about your faith if you had your child's company for 6 hrs?

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Take note that true leadership begins at home: Ephesians 6:1-4. Other qualities : 1Tim.3:4-5.